ROOTS:
VOICES OF
HONG KONG
特首十八問
Eighteen Questions for the Chief Executive
Essay and Letter by Virginia Ng Suk-yin 伍淑賢
Translated by Joey Ho
Mail from Hong Kong
4 March 2017
Dear Joey,
When the clock struck five in the afternoon of 1 March 2017, the nomination period for Hong Kong’s next Chief Executive election came to a close and three contenders for the CE position had submitted their qualifying nominations. The media have amply reported on the candidates, their manifestoes (if any) and the number and names of nominators supporting each candidate. The CE election is taking place on 26 March but, as someone not among the 1,200 electors (who are also the nominators), I see the whole thing as a boring farce.
You and I seldom talk about politics but since your project is about “roots”, it may be a good idea to share with you a small “incident”. The article attached was written on 18 February for a local newspaper and the content was, at least I thought, innocent enough. It talks about why any CE contender should be much closer to the average guy, why s/he must empathise with what the man in the street is going through every day. So I was a bit surprised to receive a phone call a few days later to the effect that there was a “problem” with the article; that the editor found it “too sensitive”. I suspect the “populist” stance in the piece was seen as favouring one particular candidate with moustache, who is popular among the democratic camp but appears (to date) to be Beijing’s least preferred option. I told the lady on the phone, “Print it intact, or not at all. No changes.” And print it they didn’t.
I have no political affiliations and find the so-called “democratic” and “pro-establishment” camps equally disappointing. I do not believe that a so-called “populist” and “non-divisive” CE will deliver Hong Kong from the political turmoil and deadlock arising from our entrenched constitutional problems and cultural dilemmas, nor am I so pessimistic to assume that all endeavours to engage in political changes are futile.
This anecdote did not make me angry or anything, as I have long made up my mind that my column in this particular paper would go on as long as I am not kicked out, so that I can continue to engage and subvert. We just need to hone our skills to get the message out and push the boundaries in a smarter way. I am not sure how relevant this small incident to my “roots” is, but there might be a connection.
So, the article would have never seen the light of day if not for your project, and I am glad it now has a second chance on your platform. Apologies it is in Chinese only, but then, an awkward juxtaposition of differences is what Hong Kong is all about.
Wishing your project a big success!
Warmest wishes,
Virginia
時下流行講「貼地」，我卻喜歡「在地」多些，因「貼地」令人想起「衰到貼地」。遠在這些潮語流行之前，前輩作家林燕妮就已很「貼地」。記得她曾參加某電視台遊戲節目，環節之一是要準確估計超市產品的零售價。很記得她由頭帶到尾，幾乎全部答對，連廁所去污粉、洗潔精、生命麵包、生油老抽這些她應不會自己去買的東西，價錢也全答得出來，誤差極小，當時很佩服。這跟她做廣告出身可能有關，對消費品和市場資訊特別留意。
回到現在。特首選戰執筆時尚未有人正式報名，戲碼頗沉悶。其實媒體的軟性talk show正好趁這空窗期，搞些考考參選人有多「貼地」的口水節目。作為一個典型的八卦觀眾，我很想知道參選人知不知道：
地鐵由尖沙咀去中環單程車票要幾錢？時代廣場斜對面的熟食檔，一串咖喱魚蛋多少錢？飯桌上的芥蘭由哪些城市來？大家樂最便宜的早餐幾錢？翠華熱奶茶幾錢一杯？哪裡還有炸臭豆腐賣？星期日戲院早場，幾錢一張票？不坐地鐵的話，由紅磡用甚麼公共交通去油塘？街邊煨蕃薯幾錢一磅？一盒保鮮紙裡的膠膜有幾長？時下小學生愛講甚麼爛gag？中學生拍拖去哪兒hea？富豪軟雪糕幾錢一個？麥記魚柳包單買幾錢？露宿者怎樣沖涼？有沒有沖涼？十元買到幾隻雞蛋？「黯然銷魂飯」典出何處？這些問題相信連師奶和阿伯也不全答對，很多我也不知道，但要當特首就一定要懂，而且不是靠助手找資料做briefing才識答，而是要去親身體驗感性學習後答對。這樣七百萬人才會心服口服。
還有是處境題。可惜香港沒有像CNN的Richard Quest般亦莊亦諧，搞笑又有份量跟名人平起平坐的星級新聞節目主持人，不然可跟參選人逐個清談一點鐘，專問些老掉大牙的兩難題目，比如阿媽(或阿爸)跟老婆(或老公)同時掉進水裡先救哪個之類。答案不重要，但看來者怎樣拆解，能否談笑用兵，夠否「貼地」，市民就心中有數。
(18/2/2017)
“Close to the ground” (meaning grounded) is a popular Hong Kong slang nowadays. But I like “being on the ground” more, because “close to the ground” reminds of being “down and out”. Long before these slangs were popular, Eunice Lam, writer of an earlier generation, was already very “close to the ground”. She was once in a game show in some TV station, and a part of the show is to guess the price of supermarket goods. I remember very well that she led the game from beginning to end, almost getting everything right. She even knew the price of toilet detergent, dish soap, Life Bread, oil, and soy sauce – things that she probably wouldn’t go buy herself - with little error. I was very impressed. She knew all these probably because she worked in advertising at the beginning of her career, and paid especial attention to consumer goods and market information.
Back to the present. Now, as I am writing, no candidates have signed up to run for the Chief Executive position yet. There wasn’t much drama. Talk shows in the media should actually use this window to test possible candidates how “close to the ground” they are. As a typical nosy viewer, I really want to know if the candidates know:
How much does a one-way subway ticket cost from Tsim Sha Tsui to Central? How much is a skewer of fishballs in the food stall across from Times Square? What cities does the chinese kale served on the dinner table come from? How much is the cheapest breakfast item in Cafe de Coral? How much is a cup of hot milk tea in Tsui Wah? Where do they still sell stinky tofu? How much is an early bird ticket at the theater on a Sunday morning? Without taking the subway, what public transport would one take to go from Hunghom to Yau Tong? How much is a pound of baked sweet potatoes at the street hawkers? How long is a roll of plastic wrap? What broken gags do primary school students like to make these days? Where do secondary schoolers hang out when they go on dates? How much is an ice-cream cone at the Mister Softee truck? How much is a single McDonalds’ Fish-O-Fillet? How does the homeless shower? Do they shower? How many eggs can ten dollars buy? Where does the term “Sorrowful Rice” come from?
Surely, even regular housewives and old men in the neighborhood might not be able to answer all these questions correctly, and I myself do not know many of them either. But if one wants to be the Chief Executive, one should know these things, and should not even rely on assistants’ researches and briefing to answer them. One should go experience and learn first hand and answer those questions correctly. It is only then the 7 million people will be convinced.
Then, there are also situational questions. Unfortunately, Hong Kong does not have a star news anchor, like CNN's Richard Quest, who is dignified yet humorous, funny but on the same level as politicians and celebrities. Or else, he could have interviewed each candidate for 60 minutes, asking age old "either-or" questions, like if your mother (or father) and your wife (or husband) fell into the water at the same time, who would you save first, etc. The answers are unimportant, but citizens will be able to see how they resolve the situation, whether they can handle it with ease, and if they are "close to the ground" enough.
(18/2/2017)